VALENTINE'S DAY

[Basab]

HERE'S WISHING A VERY HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO EVERYONE.

[Basab]

Aseem,

It is true that I am reading spiritual books all the time; but then, my heart lies somewhere else.

[Basab]

Aseem,

No plans tomorrow! It's going to be just another day for me! Yet to find a soulmate! Maybe next 'Valentine's Day' will be better. About spiritual books, I will continue reading the one I have been reading these days, to console myself. I wish the others here have a great day tomorrow.

[roseyrose]

Dear Basab,

here is wishing that you get lots and lots of love this Valentine's day and may you get what your heart desires

i can only wish.......making somebody love you btw is your job

regards,

rose

[Basab]

Dear Rose,

Thank you so much for the wishes! About making someone love me, I spent 4 years here, putting all my efforts so that someone gets impressed with me, but no one got impressed, it seems! What can I do now? It is my destiny!!

[Basab]

What is love? Let's discuss it today, instead of astrology, spirituality and other topics, for a change. I can't express what love means because my heart doesn't know how to speak--it only knows how to love. Guys, do share your feelings about this sweet, but powerful, emotion called 'love'. Have you ever been in love? If you have, then write a few words on what it means to you, and if you haven't, still write what it means to you. We all have a heart, and we all have loved someone, sometime in our life, I believe, so share your thoughts on this beautiful emotion, and make this discussion so wonderful that the heart in each of us starts throbbing, making us feel the love we have in there for our beloved, very strongly.

[kandhan]

i fall in love frequently. When i see puppy dogs or labradors/rottweilers(any age). or chubby kids. a nicely modified Enfield Bullet.

A thing of beauty is a joy forever.

[digitsoftime]

In a worldly sense,
Love is more prevalent in the pain caused by bereavement rather than happiness in union.

[Basab]

Guys and gals,

Thank you for sharing your thoughts! Honestly speaking, I have never fallen in love, and I am the most unromantic person in real life, but when it comes to the dream world, I am the most romantic person.

If I am asked to go out on a date or impress a girl, I will feel bored to hell, and I don't think I will feel the energy for that even, but I like imagining myself in love. I remember reading in one of the plays of Shakesphere a character saying that he loves the feeling of being in love. That's what it is for me. I love thinking of being in love, but I know, I will not like being in love in real life. That is how it is for me.

A romantic song, a romantic movie, makes me feel like falling in love, turning me into a Romeo at heart, but alas, I am not interested in being that in reality--because I am not a romantic person in real life.

[Basab]

Anupamji,

You are right. I indeed am a riddle, and God is fully responsible for that. I knew people will find me a confused soul, but I was just trying to be honest.

About my favourite actress, well, I would definitely want to meet her once, but then, I don't know whether I would if I get the chance to meet her! So you are right in your assesment. A few months back she came to my city, Calcutta, to promote her serial, but when the news came on the newspaper, she had already left. I asked myself, would I have gone to meet her if I had got the news earlier? I felt, I wouldn't have gone; but then, I am not sure, what I would have done if I really was in that situation. Maybe, I would have gone. I am not sure.

[Basab]

Thanks, Aseem. Good song. Brought out the Romeo in me for a few minutes.

Anyway, I dedicate this song to all the beautiful bachelors on the forum-

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IsgNp5LpYcI

[Talib]

prem main r to aadha hai, per uska arth bhi zada hai.
prem kare vo premi kab hoye, prem ka matlab samjha kya koi.
prem main dooba jata hai, tab arth samjh main aata hai.

ye tera hai ye mera hai, ye dost ye dusman zada hai.
ye jiske man main aata hai, vo keval ghrina sikhata hai.
prem ka matlab sab samaan, kisi ek ko kyon apna maan.

aaj ka premi prem kya jane, ek pari charo chit khane.
premka matlab sabse uncha, prem ka arth vidhata hai.
param pita ishvar ko paya, keval prem se jata hai.

LOVE

[Basab]

This is very true, digitsoftime. Very nice observation you have made.

In a worldly sense,
Love is more prevalent in the pain caused by bereavement rather than happiness in union.

[Basab]

prem ka matlab sab samaan, kisi ek ko kyon apna maan

Talib Ji,

If this above quoted sentence is misinterpreted, as we generally do as per our convenience, then I am sure 'Valentine Day' will come regularly instead of just on a specific date and in a specific month .

Well said, Anupamji. But on a serious note, it is easy to say that but difficult to follow. I have been reading a book on Swami Vivekananda recently, and there he talks about this kind of love. But he also says this again and again in most of his lectures that preaching about religion like a parrot is worse than being an atheist. Either try to realise what you say or don't believe in it. I agree with him--I agree with most of the things he has said. By making that point, he was saying that don't be pseudo spiritual--rather be an atheist. That is the point I have always stressed on in my posts here. I will never say that line because I can't love everyone equally. I can't love my enemies as much as I love my friends, I can't love my wife as much as I love my favourite actress. So I may say this very easily that this is what love means; but then, if I don't follow it in my own life, I am making a fool of myself--making big talks, but not walking that talk. That's my point of view.

Talib, don't take it personally, I request you. This post is not pointed at you. It is a general post, where I am sharing my thoughts on it.

[Talib]

prem ka matlab sab samaan, kisi ek ko kyon apna maan

Talib Ji,

If this above quoted sentence is misinterpreted, as we generally do as per our convenience, then I am sure 'Valentine Day' will come regularly instead of just on a specific date and in a specific month .

Anupam Ji,

If the above quoted sentence is interpreted right then it will b true Valentine moments instead of waiting for a Valentine day.

Love

[Basab]

Anupamji,

Easy is what comes from 'Within'. For example I am sure nobody advised you to have love towards your favorite actress but still you felt it deep in your heart. So, should we say you are following the human definition of Love !!! Not at all since I do not think when you felt that love you thought that you are following some 'Dictum'. It came naturally instead of having been preached by 'Anyone'. Nothing was imposed or forced upon it came 'Naturally'.Same applies to this Universal Love when we love all equally without differentiating between your 'Mother' and mine 'Mother' or even your God or mine God . How many are really interested in acquiring this 'State'...

You have made two points here. In the first one you say that the love I have for my favourite actress came naturally, and in the second one you say, how many are really interested in acquiring that state of love called 'universal love'? This is the point, Anupamji. This is exactly the point I have always been making. One love comes to me naturally, and the other love I have to grow in me by force. Can both the love be equal: the one which springs from my heart naturally, and the one which is forced to grow in my heart? I will say, no. The first one will be true love, but the second one will be pretension because we cannot make our heart love someone by force. This is the power of maya over us. We know universal love is the highest form of love, but we still fall in the trap of maya--such is the power of maya. Love is blind, Anupamji. We don't use our head when we love, we use our heart. Love makes us become fools. If I use my head, if I use a balance to measure who is greater, God or my fav. actress, God wins definitely, so I should love God more than her, but then, such is the trap of maya that I love the actress more than God.

I know that that state of universal love can be reached, and once I feel it, all other love will pale in comaprison, but for that I have to be a saint, which I am not. I am a normal human being, and for me, 'universal love' is a theory, which I read in a book, which I appreciate as a great thing, but something which I can't follow in my life, until such is destiny's plan. If destiny naturally makes me feel the inclination to seek universal love, I will definitely leave everything for it. It is going to be the most beautiful experience, I feel, but then, I will seek it, if only my heart seeks it, not if my mind asks me to go for it because love comes from the mind and not from the heart.

At last I may only give my personal definition of love " Whatever makes you emotionally weak, dependent that is despicable or even sheer 'Slavery' but surely it is not Love".

I will like to say something interesting in regard to this lines that happened a few days back. A few days back I was talking to an online friend. We are good friends because she is like me a fan of another actress. That evening she was very upset because her favourite actress has not added her in the social networking site, and she was telling me that enough is enough, she will not waste time thinking of the actress. I agreed. I said, I will also not waste a single minute thinking of my favourite actress. If she doesn't care one bit about her fans, why should I, her fan, care about her. Next monrning, when I opened Vivekananda's book to read, you know what I read in the first few minutes from when I have started reading: exactly the point you are making. He was telling that if we feel feel hurt if the person we love ignores us, if she doesn't talk to us, if she doesn't stay near us, then we should realize it is not love but slavery. True love will not make you feel bad even a little bit, even if the person you love hates you. I thought God had answered me. My anger vanished, I thought let my fav. actress not reply to me ever, let her not bother about her fans, but I will still remain her fan, I will still lover her as a fan, always. Now see, Vivekananda wanted to teach about universal love, but my mind made its own meaning to strengthen my love for the actress. This is maya.

My favourite actress once said that she knows spirituality is good for the body and the mind, but she is not that much spiritual. This is honesty. Yes, there are highly evolved souls, but then, everyone can't be that, Anupamji. You are a highly evolved soul, but I am not that. And I don't think it will be right for me to pretend that I am that. I do read spiritual books, but I don't like to quote them here because people will get a wrong impression of me. They will think that I am following it, which is not true. Even now that I am reading spiritual books I am reading it because it consoles me and because I enjoy knowing about what it says.

So, it goes into your favor ' Destiny is Predestined'.

Anupamji, everything is predestined, I feel. Sometimes I feel I am a fool to waste even a single minute thinking about the actress. I laugh seeing my foolishness, seeing how maya takes control of me, how it makes me get attached to unreality, and that I mean in the practical sense because liking an actress is unreality at it's heights. I even sometimes say to myself that my liking the actress is maya, and I will not think of her, but think like a spiritual person, detach myself from even a moment's thought of her, and I do that for one day; and then, the next day I am back to where I was. I feel, even realizing the truth, learning to grow universal love, is destiny. If one is destined to, then only he will get attracted to, get the interest to, grow universal love, otherwise not.

See me: I am reading spiritual books. I find it difficult to believe it. But it is true. I am not the same person I was three years back when I used to have an 'allergy', even hearing something about spirituality. I used to think what a waste of time it is to even spent one moment of my life reading on it, forget following it, and today I am addicted to books on it. Isn't it destiny? It is, definitely. Three years down the line I may be will be living a spiritual life, who knows?

I sometimes feel like laughing seeing destiny's plays. You know when I am in misery, the actress's face most of the time pops up in my mind. It comforts me more, and I think, this is maya! I am so much drowned in maya that I am finding solace in thinking of the actress and not of God; but then, I think that it is okay, maybe. I admire her a lot, and so if it gives me solace, thinking of her, let it be that way. God won't mind, I am sure.

Maya is something very powerful, Anupamji. I do fight with maya, but maya always wins. I use the sword of discrimination to tear off the veil of maya, to see the truth, and I am successful for a moment or two; but then, I am back to where I was again. It's very difficult, I tell you, for an ordinary guy like me. But I try even then, my best, to detach myself from things. LIke, if I see something is giving me suffering, I try to detach myself from it; but then, the mind always goes back to it and makes me suffer.

I pray to God sometimes, either fulfill my wish or make me lose interest in that, but then, God has His own play to play. Who can understand Him. He is my father--I am not His father.

[Talib]

Talib, don't take it personally, I request you. This post is not pointed at you. It is a general post, where I am sharing my thoughts on it.

Basab, Why wld i take it personally, when i know myself and very well aware of the path i am following. whatever i have written is from my heart and my honest view on LOVE.

I believe in every single word of swami vivekananda and its good to know u r reading him theses days.I pray and Hope u just dont read and agree but also understand and follow what he convyed. espeacially the kind of love he talks abt. I appreciate ur thoughts, but its just waste of time and energy for me to think abt who is fake or genuine or giving judgements on others. I wld rather spend my time on understanding myself and prabhu simran, as i believe, that is the only real investment a human can make.

I can't love my enemies as much as I love my friends,

I know.BTW i have different definition of friends and enemy..i am my only friend and i dont consider anyone my enemy.

i remember a song : sirf ehsaas hai ye rooh se mehsoos karo, pyar ko pyar hi rehne do koi naam na do.

it is easy to say that but difficult to follow.

yes, it is easy to say and agree but difficult to follow. fact is , we are so much controlled by planets and our vikaras(samskaras) that it is almost imposible to follow voice of soul. All we can do is, surrender to almighty and honestly ask for margdarshan(guidence)..he will make everything easy and will open all the doors for us. I have seen miracles happening in my own life, all my gratitude to my lord.


on a lighter note basab, why do we have to worry abt psuedo spiritual or fake ppl and wt vivekanada has said in regards to this.. isnt it better to put our energy in understanding the "kind of love" he talks abt. it is very important to divert our energy towards positvity.

Love

[Basab]

Talib,

You got me wrong. When I told you don't take it personally, I meant that don't think that I feel that way about you. I know you are not that, but you may feel that I feel that way about you seeing my post, so I wanted to tell you that it is not like that.

I know whatever you have written is full of honesty, and I never said that it is not so.

Yes, I believe too in every word of Swami Vivekananda, and I have avoided his books always because I always felt that his teachings are tough to understand; but then, finally, I gathered enough courage to buy a book, which has his lectures and writings. I am finding it a tough read and taking it as a challenge to read the whole book, even if it takes me a year because I am reading very slowly as I am finding it difficult to understand his teachings, many a times.

I understand what he says, but then about following him, I will definitely do that if my heart makes me do that. I never believe in forcing myself to be someone I am not.

I have always been inclined to understand the truth, and I think there is nothing wrong in that because Swami Vivekananda in his speech did mention that many times that many are fakes, which he could have avoided mentioning and gone on teaching the subject matter only.

on a lighter note basab, why do we have to worry abt psuedo spiritual or fake ppl and wt vivekanada has said in regards to this.. isnt it better to put our energy in understanding the "kind of love" he talks abt. it is very important to divert our energy towards positvity.

I will tell you why it is like that. It's because when I read about what someone says I give importance to every word he has said--everything he has said holds meaning, otherwise he would not have wasted his time saying it.

[Basab]

Aseem,

You are right. I should not discuss about her here. I didn't take her name, so I thought it was okay to write about her here, but then, I understand what you are saying. It is wrong indeed to write so much about my being a fan of her here, again and again. I am not making a mockery of her. I can never do that. How can I mock a person, who I am such a big fan of.

[Talib]

[/quote]I will tell you why it is like that. It's because when I read about what someone says I give importance to every word he has said--everything he has said holds meaning, otherwise he would not have wasted his time saying it.[/quote]


Basab,

Vivekanada is a teacher a "guru" he had surely not wasted his time saying it, but when "we" show more concern abt others or so called pseudo or fake ppl rather than our growth,we are surely wasting our time or giving invitation to negativity.


i give u a small example, recently i asked from my girl frnd, wt does she like in me the most?
she replied, "u smoke too much, i dont like it" ..my point is we dont like to think abt positive factors but we r more worried and spontaneous about the negative ones...believe me giving importance to what shld b of least importance to us will bring no good to us.

If u think more abt pseudo ppl u will always end up getting attracted to them to help urself to make ur views more strong about them..this is how nature works and i have experienced it. hope this statement of mine makes some sense.

Love

[Talib]

This thread is incomplete wdout story of St. Valentine. here i am pasting a mail i received yesterday on Valentine day.


Let me introduce myself. My name is Valentine. I lived in Rome during the third century. That was long, long ago! At that time, Rome was ruled by an emperor named Claudius. I didn't like Emperor Claudius, and I wasn't the only one! A lot of people shared my feelings.
Claudius wanted to have a big army. He expected ...men to volunteer to join. Many men just did not want to fight in wars. They did not want to leave their wives and families. As you might have guessed, not many men signed up. This made Claudius furious. So what happened? He had a crazy idea. He thought that if men were not married, they would not mind joining the army. So Claudius decided not to allow any more marriages. Young people thought his new law was cruel. I thought it was preposterous! I certainly wasn't going to support that law!

Did I mention that I was a priest? One of my favourite activities was to marry couples. Even after Emperor Claudius passed his law, I kept on performing marriage ceremonies -- secretly, of course. It was really quite exciting. Imagine a small candlelit room with only the bride and groom and myself. We would whisper the words of the ceremony, listening all the while for the steps of soldiers.

One night, we did hear footsteps. It was scary! Thank goodness the couple I was marrying escaped in time. I was caught. (Not quite as light on my feet as I used to be, I guess.) I was thrown in jail and told that my punishment was death.

I tried to stay cheerful. And do you know what? Wonderful things happened. Many young people came to the jail to visit me. They threw flowers and notes up to my window. They wanted me to know that they, too, believed in love.

One of these young people was the daughter of the prison guard. Her father allowed her to visit me in the cell. Sometimes we would sit and talk for hours. She helped me to keep my spirits up. She agreed that I did the right thing by ignoring the Emperor and going ahead with the secret marriages. On the day I was to die, I left my friend a little note thanking her for her friendship and loyalty. I signed it, "Love from your Valentine."

I believe that note started the custom of exchanging love messages on Valentine's Day. It was written on the day I died, February 14, 269 A.D. Now, every year on this day, people remember. But most importantly, they think about love and friendship. And when they think of Emperor Claudius, they remember how he tried to stand in the way of love, and they laugh -- because they know that love can't be beaten.

[Basab]

Talib,

My thinking is different in this matter. I feel a person should give more focus on the negative than on the positive. Positive is something which doesn't need to get corrected, but the negative is something which needs correction. If we oversight the negative and highlight the positive, the negatives will remain negatives all through and never turn to positive.

You girlfriend is right. She didn't bother to mention that which is positive in you because there is no scope for improvement there, but mentioned that which is negative in you, so that you turn that negative into positive--by quitting smoking cigarettes.

It is always necessary to find out the flaws and try to correct that than overlook them and stay happy with the positives that are already there. That person will never grow who doesn't identify the negatives in him and tries to get rid of them.

I again and again talk about pseudo spiritual people because they need to change themselves to true spiritual attitude. Why waste time singing the glories of those who are already truly spiritual!

[Basab]

Dear Aseem,

Why should I feel mad? This thread is dedicated to love and lovers and all the truly romantic and pseudo romantic people in this discussion board.

I am really sorry to hear that you had a heartbreak. Destiny is sometimes so heartless. I sometimes wish that it had a heart, then it would have realized how much pain it feels when one has a heartbreak. I don't know what to say to you now because no words of consolation works when one has had a heartbreak, and you always loved her so much as you have told me many times. I wish things were different--I wish you could marry her as you wished to always; but then, destiny played the spoilsport here as we all can see.

You have to forget this and move ahead. You are a strong person, and I am sure you will get over this sorrow and begin life afresh. I wish from the bottom of my heart that you get to marry someone who will love you so much that you will forget your love for this girl. And I believe that will happen as I have told you many times that your birth chart promises a good marriage.

Just keep walking, buddy. That's all I can say. And always remember this saying: 'This will also pass'. Everything passes, whether bad days or good days. Nothing is permanent in life, everything is temporary. This sorrow will also pass. Just keep walking--just keep walking.

Best wishes to you, always.

[Talib]

Talib,

My thinking is different in this matter.

True Basab.. we all have our point of view on any matter and i have no urge of changing what anyone think. However, i am still of the opinion that a person shld concentrate on himself rather than finding flaws in other which will never bring any good.

My GF gave me same logic but i didnt want to spoil my date hence didnt argue wd her.
I asked her wt does she like and she answered wt she doesnt like...i am not talking here about a bad habit of smoking but the negative thought process..its like someone ask me what type of ppl u like and I reply,"i dont like hypocrite and liers..does it make sense?

That person will never grow who doesn't identify the negatives in him and tries to get rid of them.

totally agree..this is exactly my point

BTW did u ever hear about "Zakir Naik". I met him in mumbai while i was travelling India.He is an Islamic spiritual leader. I wld suggest u to listen to him if u want.

A Joke exclusively for u:

In bio practical:
Examiner: Tell me the name of this bird by seeing its legs only?
Sardar: I don't know.
Examiner: You are failed, what's your name?
Sardar: See my legs & tell my name

LOVE

[Basab]

Talib,

I agree with you that a person should find faults in himself and try to correct them than to find and correct flaws in others. As is said, 'oil your own machine', but then; I like to know how the world is like in reality, not what it should be like.

You have written:

However, i am still of the opinion that a person shld concentrate on himself rather than finding flaws in other which will never bring any good.

Have you concentrated on yourself? Yes, you have, but only on your positives because you love to see only the positives in you, not the negatives. And the biggest proof of that is you have not stopped smoking--something which is harmful to you. You will never leave smoking because you will never try to work out that problem in you--after all you don't like focussing on the negative. There maybe are 100's of flaws in you, but you will not even bother to look at them but keep looking at the positives that you have.

I asked her wt does she like and she answered wt she doesnt like...i am not talking here about a bad habit of smoking but the negative thought process..its like someone ask me what type of ppl u like and I reply,"i dont like hypocrite and liers..does it make sense?

You question shows your nature of not being able to face the truth. Have you ever asked her what she doesn't like in you? If you have, it is okay; but if you haven't, then you are running away from your flaws, and trying to be happy with your positives. One should always have the courage to face what flaws he has, and then only can he expect to grow as a person.

You say you believe in universal love: if you had believed in it, then you would not have got annoyed by your girlfriend pointing out your flaw but thanked her instead. Who knows, maybe God through her was trying to make you see the negative in you, but you instead of taking it in a proper way got angry that she pointed out your flaw. I even saw you using a for Anupamji's post in reply to you on Valentine's day, so you are believing in something but not following it that I can see. This is what Swami Vivekananda said, better be an atheist if you don't try to realize the truth of religion. Many people can parrot the grand messages of universal love, but they don't follow it in real life.

Just ask yourself how many times you react when something 'not to your pleasing' is said to you? If you react a lot of times, then stop quoting the lines of universal love to others--you don't have the right to say something, which you don't follow in your own life. That is my point.

Now, I hope you will love me for the lines in the last 2 para's because you don't hate someone who points out your mistakes, you don't get angry with someone who is rude to you because you love everyone equally; and then, how can you hate your own self--as is said, I am you, and you are me, and me am Anupamji--we all are same--we all are Brahman. Easy to say it, man. Difficult to follow. That is what Swami Vivekananda talked about: that we are experts in making these dry discussions, but we are not ready to following it in our lives.

I know my post will hurt you, but I like to face the truth, always. I don't like pretensions, I don't like theories. I like to see the reality as it is. Sorry about what I wrote--hope you understand me now enough to mind what I said. It's just me--how I am, how I see life. I don't spare myself when it comes to facing the truth. I question my beliefs and my attitude. I don't spare myself when it comes to criticism. That is me.

I try to follow what spirituality says; but because I fail in it, because I can't live it most of the times, I make a frank declaration of it, try to discuss the problem one faces in living that life, than preach dry theories.

Not a single time have I seen anyone discussing the problems one faces in living a spiritual life. That stays behind closed doors. Only the theories of spirituality are discussed--not the hurdles in living that theory that one faces day-to-day. We should be honest about what we are--about the hurdles that we face day-to-day in living a spiritual life, but most here prefer to discuss theories, and the perfect life living those theories will bring.

Now, of course, if all of you are realised saints, who don't feel swayed by maya, then it is a different question, altogether. Who knows, maybe that is the reason you don't talk about maya because maya is non-existent in your life! Do tell me if it is so; as then, I will not bring up this topic anymore and leave this section on philosophy because I am the only unrealized soul here then, an odd one out.

One more thing: you may find exclusive jokes for me, but there is someone up above, who is getting ideas of new jokes seeing you follow the principle of universal love.