much pain and restriction in love- please help me understand

[lunari.astra]

I feel like I have suffered some pain regarding issues of love in my life. For most of my life, I was literally incapable of having any romantic relationships at all, which caused a lot of painful loneliness. But then in June 2009 I began one. It's very long-distance and due to some misunderstandings and a major (and some more minor) betrayal, has brought me a lot of pain. Sometimes I get over it, and am really happy, but then the pain comes back and I have a hard time forgetting the past and moving forward. I don't want to dwell in the past, but for some reason it can still hurt me very badly (maybe because the effects are still present).

I would like to know if there is any chance of me ever being happy when it comes to love, or if I will always suffer these extreme ups and downs? Will I get married, and if so, when and will it be a good marriage? What are some remedies I can do to help my situation?


Here is my chart. DST is +1:00 (it should show a Virgo Lagna)

lunari.astra chart.jpg

I would like to better understand this in my chart, so if anyone could help me I would really appreciate it!

[astroboy]

Lunari astra ,

The answer lies in your pseudonym . Lunari literally means the "Moon" and astra means "To the Stars " . I will explain the reason for the problem . You wrote ,

I feel like I have suffered some pain regarding issues of love in my life. For most of my life, I was literally incapable of having any romantic relationships at all, which caused a lot of painful loneliness. But then in June 2009 I began one. It's very long-distance and due to some misunderstandings and a major (and some more minor) betrayal, has brought me a lot of pain. Sometimes I get over it, and am really happy, but then the pain comes back and I have a hard time forgetting the past and moving forward. I don't want to dwell in the past, but for some reason it can still hurt me very badly (maybe because the effects are still present).

I will give you a answer for the emotional turmoil . Look at the position of the Moon . It is in the Star of Ardra . Kuja the 8th lord being in a enemy sign and conjunct in close degree in the Nakshatra of Ardra is most unwelcome . Kuja is a terrible malefic for this lagna . ( Also Note our friend new friend Mr Gulika in close conjunction with Kuja and Chandra in the same Nakshatra ). I think you begin to understand the picture now right ??

Best regard's

[rita]

Hello Astroboy,

Kuja is in Ardra, however isn't the Moon in Mrigasira nakshatra?

Regards

[lunari.astra]

Hi Astroboy & Rita, thanks for looking at my chart. I also see the Moon in Mrigasira nakshatra. Who is Gulika? Is that Mercury?

[astroboy]

Lunari astra , Rita ji ,

J hora shows moon in Ardra . Parashara light shows moon is Mrigashira . I dont know which one to trust now .


Best regard's

[lunari.astra]

Maybe your J Hora is on a different setting? Both my Parashara & J Hora show the Moon in Mrigashira, but I just left both on default when I got them (I don't know anything about how they should be set or why).

[lunari.astra]

So if the Moon is in Mrigasira (and Mars in Ardra) does the reason for the emotional turmoil change?

[lunari.astra]

are there any remedies for this?

[Dinesh.Srivastava]

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[lunari.astra]

Thanks so much, Dinesh- this makes so much sense! Since I am learning Jyotish, I especially love how you broke everything down and showed how and why these effects occur. From this, now I understand so much better how to look at the Lords in a chart

This is all very accurate. I really am horribly slow at forming relationships, and I'm almost never the initiator of anything (though I kind of accidentally initiated this first romantic relationship, but it was not my intention to do so).

I'm glad that you have seen some positive in this whole situation. I am curious about your distinction between Lover and Husband- I know not all lovers are or will be husbands, but shouldn't a husband be both a lover as well? Does this mean I have to get married first before I really experience love?

I am actually 23...I will be 24 in May

[Dinesh.Srivastava]

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[lunari.astra]

Thanks, Dinesh. You and your dad have explained this so well. Your ideal of marriage is really what I have always wanted when it comes to love, which is why I was never motivated towards casual dating, etc. at all (even when everyone around me was doing it).

I used to feel bad for being unhappy that I've never been my current boyfriend's priority (when he was always mine), and it still feels selfish to say how I feel about this, but knowing that there are other people out there who have similar relationship ideals makes me feel more valid and a lot clearer on what I really want with love. I guess (non-astrologically) that's what's really causing all this emotional turmoil that I was originally posting for remedies about, as this seems to be the underlying issue that has allowed all the things in this relationship that has caused me pain to occur.

[curiosity]

Hi Dinesh,

I really liked the way you've explained the difference between lover and spouse/THE ONE. It make the perfect sense. I use to think that I am an old school graduate who goes with my rules. But, It's good to know that there are others also who believe in this. Now a days, relationships are not more than give and take. People take giving nature more granted. I went through the same situation 9 months ago where I used to think that I've found my soul mate but I was wrong. Now, I have left everything on time:)

Keep up the good work:)

Rosy

Hi Lunari,

Once I was talking to my dad about relationships, we had a long discussion that night, like always. I will try to tell you the essence of what he taught me then.

He said , there are 3 types of relationships in a person’s life , namely

1. Life Long , GOD given {example : Parents , Brothers and sisters , Children , other family members and Relatives}
2. Short Term , SELF made {example : Friends , Professional Connection , Social Connections }
3. Life Long , SELF made {There is only one relationship that comes under this category and that is Our Relationship with our SPOUSE}

He further said that since this life long relationship is because of our choice that’s why in our life it should have the highest priority.

Now to help me understand the distinction between a LOVER and a WIFE , he said “when you are more focused on getting your needs fulfilled may it be Physical or Emotional , then it doesn’t matter whether you are married to that person or not , at best that person can be termed as your Lover and not your spouse”

He further added , That a true marriage happens between a man and a women only when both of them are connected and devoted to each other equally at all the three levels , namely

1. Physical
2. Emotional
3. Mental

So, what I understood from it is that a Lover is just a fraction of a spouse , He / She
can at best be termed as a mate but definitely not a soul mate.

In today’s world mostly people fall in love through their eyes , whom their eyes find
pleasing to look at , they assume will also be good for their heart … but unfortunately it
Doesn’t happen too often …. And believe me , a broken heart hurts more then a broken
limb

BOTTOM - LINE : Instead of wishing for a mate , we should wish for a soul mate and may He/She be our spouse as well so that the happiness and satisfaction may last for ever.

Take Care

Regards
--- Dinesh

[onlyhope]

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[Dinesh.Srivastava]

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[Dinesh.Srivastava]

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[Dinesh.Srivastava]

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[lunari.astra]

no need for appologies, Dinesh, I enjoyed reading your posts