Sonu Ji,
I kept this post in my Inbox for couple of days. as, i couldn't sent it to u through PM. Feeling like posting it today.
Thanks for sharing your experience. It is quite similar to what i am going through these days, i am living overseas from past 6 yrs. series of misshappening on family level, misunderstanding, betrayal, health issues in a very short span of time. I lost my sleep, bad dreams, total negativity such that even when i used to wake up i cld feel fire in my eyes, total lathargic body. that was black time of my life. But i never left chanting and kept my faith in god and always satisfied myself that wtever is happening is happening for my good.started meditation almost an year ago, but then at one stage i felt i need something more then meditation. I left my job and went to India for six months. started visiting ashram's, seeking spiritual master who cld guide me. but Sonu Ji i ended up with frustration, systme in India is too corrupt that even spirituality has become business, pseudo spiritual's are using people for their own benefits. 95 out of 100 people who i met in past six months were fake, many of them were using some sort of siddhi to influence or control people. but i always felt a divine protection wd me, which saved me from getting in trap. Then i realised there must be some fault in me that i am getting in contact wd these people, may be i wasnt rippen. "frustrated", i went to vrindavan and spent some good days there, there i kept on asking almighty to take me to the right direction. After Vrindavan i went to a place called "KOSI", as guided by a person who i admire a lot. just after these visit's everything changed infact, everything started happening its own. I met many blessed souls and got their blessings, i wld say it was effect of those blessings that right people started coming in my contact.
First of all i met a baba ji, who was a tapsvi and 110 yrs old. he told me meaning of many mantras , kriyas, and shalokas. i was blessed

. In our first meeting he asked me to come closer to him and then he gave me a tight slap. i tell u sonu g till that day i had never seen stars in the day light

My chik become red red chik,

eyes wet, bit anger ..but then baba Ji told me that dont mind this slap was not for you. i did not understand but after that day i felt so refreshing that i cant explain..my thinking, my attitude , my decisions everything changed and become fruitful. I wonder if it was "mind conditioning" or blessing and grace of a Kind soul, then started series of sadhu sangat. i realised its only sadhu sangat and prabhu simran that can save me. and then i spent my rest of holidays only in search of sadhus and seeking for their blessings.
I also got my leaf in bhrigu samhita and got to know that i will soon find my Guru. i cant tell you how happy i was. Anyways, my visa got expired and i had to come back. I had this same feeling that i am going back to negativity again, where even vegeterian food is full of tamas. wt ever i have earned in this past six months i am going to loose in this negativity. I again prayed to almighty from my heart. The very next day of my arrival i got in to contact with this person who is from gaudiya math,though he call himself a "Maletch" and a fallen one, but he came like a saving factor and become my best and only mate in this foriegn land. he asked me to meet in shiva vishnu tepmle where i spend most of my free time. Another sadhu came in my life. we started spending time together, started doing japa together, total positivity

. The way he behaved with me was like he knew what i am looking for.He gave me different books to read, which cleaned my mind and cleared those thinking which may took me to wrong side. My gratitude to almighty for taking care of me.
Though no one in my family is happy with my decision of going back home but i have decided to leave this country and looking forward to it. Moving to abroad was because of different mind set and i am glad that almighty has fullfilled my all desires but in his mysterious way's. System in india may be corrupt but there is still no comparison of spiritual wealth. Hope all goes well and i soon go back where i belong to.

. Everyones perception is different, people may look at the negative side of India but I believe,real "atmvikas" is only possible in India.
East or West India Is the best.
Love