Disaster in Marital life ( What is the use of match making)
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Hi Anilesh,
I understand ur problem and ur wifes problem too..
My wife is from north and I am from south..She does not know tamil and me only 70% Hindi.
Good thing is we live in UK which means away from families..
I always thought, what if I have your sitation,
What comes to my mind is.
1. My parents will be happy if I am happy.
2. My Mom and Dad are happy with each other and its my duty to keep my wife happy as she is 100% dependant on me..
3. I have to live with my wife untill my death, so her comfort and happiness with me is the most important factor..
4.When she is comfort and happy then I am happy and if I am happy then my parents are happy.
5.When you got a baby then things will completely change..She will keep herself busy with the little one..
If I were you I will definetely stay away from my parents until they are self capable on managing themselves.With all these stress you cannot give urself 100% in preparing for ur interview..So you can try giving her some time by staying alone and love her moreeeee....Love and caring from husband is what they want all the time...And she is the one who will care for you after your marriage...
Parents will always love you and when reacha stage that they are not capable of managing then they need you..
I understand ur problem and ur wifes problem too..
My wife is from north and I am from south..She does not know tamil and me only 70% Hindi.
Good thing is we live in UK which means away from families..
I always thought, what if I have your sitation,
What comes to my mind is.
1. My parents will be happy if I am happy.
2. My Mom and Dad are happy with each other and its my duty to keep my wife happy as she is 100% dependant on me..
3. I have to live with my wife untill my death, so her comfort and happiness with me is the most important factor..
4.When she is comfort and happy then I am happy and if I am happy then my parents are happy.
5.When you got a baby then things will completely change..She will keep herself busy with the little one..
If I were you I will definetely stay away from my parents until they are self capable on managing themselves.With all these stress you cannot give urself 100% in preparing for ur interview..So you can try giving her some time by staying alone and love her moreeeee....Love and caring from husband is what they want all the time...And she is the one who will care for you after your marriage...
Parents will always love you and when reacha stage that they are not capable of managing then they need you..
Last edited by jegdis5 on 06 Sep 2012, edited 1 time in total.
Anilesh,
It's a common problem in today's world. Even people from the same community from the same region speaking same language have this kind of problem - if not about language, then about other small matters such as shopping, spending daily money, cooking food, children, style of clothes, going out and coming in, talking to friends and all kinds of non-issues.
Most people today have a large ego and everyone wants to dominate everyone else.
I like to say that India is a democracy of 1.2 billion dictators!
Well, I feel you'll do well to take your father's offer and take a separate apartment and ask him to give you some money to start a business of some kind if you are not getting a job. You can visit both sides of families from time to time and that will make all parties happy. Both Ahmedabad and Jaipur are excellent places for business.
I think she talks about language, but subconsciously, she is worried about the future of her child, herself and of you because of unstable economic situation. It's her anxiety that comes out in this form. Once you begin to do business and some money will come, she will be much better.
It's a common problem in today's world. Even people from the same community from the same region speaking same language have this kind of problem - if not about language, then about other small matters such as shopping, spending daily money, cooking food, children, style of clothes, going out and coming in, talking to friends and all kinds of non-issues.
Most people today have a large ego and everyone wants to dominate everyone else.
I like to say that India is a democracy of 1.2 billion dictators!
Well, I feel you'll do well to take your father's offer and take a separate apartment and ask him to give you some money to start a business of some kind if you are not getting a job. You can visit both sides of families from time to time and that will make all parties happy. Both Ahmedabad and Jaipur are excellent places for business.
I think she talks about language, but subconsciously, she is worried about the future of her child, herself and of you because of unstable economic situation. It's her anxiety that comes out in this form. Once you begin to do business and some money will come, she will be much better.
Havan Manuals -
http://www.lightonvedicastrology.com/phpBB3_0/viewtopic.php?f=11&t=12791&p=124553#p124488
hymns -
1 http://www.vignanam.org/
2 http://www.lightonvedicastrology.com/phpBB3_0/viewtopic.php?f=12&t=11446&start=75#p93038
http://www.lightonvedicastrology.com/phpBB3_0/viewtopic.php?f=11&t=12791&p=124553#p124488
hymns -
1 http://www.vignanam.org/
2 http://www.lightonvedicastrology.com/phpBB3_0/viewtopic.php?f=12&t=11446&start=75#p93038
No match making would ensure that day-to-day happenings between a "saas-bahu" or husband wife need not occur.
This year is rather painful in respect of your 7th house
I hope it also give rise to a "change" needed in your fortunes
This year is rather painful in respect of your 7th house
I hope it also give rise to a "change" needed in your fortunes
Thanks everyone for your replies. Well, ab toofan thoda thambh gaya he. 
But i have decided that we will live seperately and as saindhvi ji said that will maintain the relations from both sides. Its the good for both sides. Hope Next year will be prove good for us.
Again, Thanks to all.
Regards
Nilesh
But i have decided that we will live seperately and as saindhvi ji said that will maintain the relations from both sides. Its the good for both sides. Hope Next year will be prove good for us. Again, Thanks to all.
Regards
Nilesh
All People laugh on me because I am Different but I laugh on them because They all are Same. This is my attitude. So "Think Different, Do Different and Be Different"!
Hi Anilesh:
Sorry to hear about your problems.
Anyway several of them have already given their advice. I just want to add my own lines here.
You said, you both like each other. You know it is easier to separate but difficult to unite. But in case you separate, the feeling will be very bad since you have atleast some liking for each other. So let the bad time pass.
I dont know if you have kids.
Also if she cannot understand gujrati, and if you all know hindi, she will feel it odd to converse in gujrati, so nothing wrong if all of you try to speak in hindi to her. With time, she herself may start liking gujrati but if you compel, it wont happen. If at all, it may happen on its own.
Dev
Sorry to hear about your problems.
Anyway several of them have already given their advice. I just want to add my own lines here.
You said, you both like each other. You know it is easier to separate but difficult to unite. But in case you separate, the feeling will be very bad since you have atleast some liking for each other. So let the bad time pass.
I dont know if you have kids.
Also if she cannot understand gujrati, and if you all know hindi, she will feel it odd to converse in gujrati, so nothing wrong if all of you try to speak in hindi to her. With time, she herself may start liking gujrati but if you compel, it wont happen. If at all, it may happen on its own.
Dev
Hii Dev,
Thanks for your concern. Ya, we both love eachother too much. I always stay with her. Well, rightnow, everything is ok.
Nilesh
Thanks for your concern. Ya, we both love eachother too much. I always stay with her.
Well, rightnow, everything is ok. Nilesh
All People laugh on me because I am Different but I laugh on them because They all are Same. This is my attitude. So "Think Different, Do Different and Be Different"!
Nilesh,
When there is no problem between husband and wife, no force in the world can separate them. And I am glad to hear that everything is fine now.
When there is no problem between husband and wife, no force in the world can separate them. And I am glad to hear that everything is fine now.
"Go thou and follow Him, who was born and gave His life for others five hundred times before He attained the vision of the Buddha!" -- Swami Vivekananda
Hi Anilesh:
I know that you love each other. See arguments can arise and develop and grow within few seconds and if it is between two unknown people, there is no problem, they dont have to unite and there may not be need for them to talk to each other in future. But when it comes to close relatives and true friends, whose company you have enjoyed for long, few minutes of misunderstanding may make one take up a wrong decision within few seconds but that moment, mind could get paralysed. But it if it so happens, it can be the cause for repentance for the rest of the life. So I just cautioned you though I now you know everything about it. So don't misunderstand me.
Dev
I know that you love each other. See arguments can arise and develop and grow within few seconds and if it is between two unknown people, there is no problem, they dont have to unite and there may not be need for them to talk to each other in future. But when it comes to close relatives and true friends, whose company you have enjoyed for long, few minutes of misunderstanding may make one take up a wrong decision within few seconds but that moment, mind could get paralysed. But it if it so happens, it can be the cause for repentance for the rest of the life. So I just cautioned you though I now you know everything about it. So don't misunderstand me.
Dev
Hii Dev,
I completely agreed with you.
You are right, few minutes of may take up a wrong decision. I have never ever seen so many problems at the same time in my life ever before. So I lost my patience and vented out frustration. Anywys, It was my mistake. Everyone learns from his or her own mistake.
Nilesh
I completely agreed with you.
You are right, few minutes of may take up a wrong decision. I have never ever seen so many problems at the same time in my life ever before. So I lost my patience and vented out frustration. Anywys, It was my mistake. Everyone learns from his or her own mistake.
Nilesh
All People laugh on me because I am Different but I laugh on them because They all are Same. This is my attitude. So "Think Different, Do Different and Be Different"!
