Marriage Phobia

[sandhya1]

..........

[swamykool]

Hi sandy,
Phobia is there because your Lg and your 7th L are in vedha nks. Revati and magha. Things will ease for you after ketu comes out of deb in your 3rd H. Don't worry.

[godisgreat]

@Sandhya1
I understand how it must be for you...And interestingly we both r born in d same year..And the career r amost the same.not that great one........Marriage doesnt materialise for me as well and i do hear those dialogues from my near ones as well..Is this the fate of 1983 born gals/guys?i dont know .maybe we should form a club 83 just as theres a club 79 ....lol...Do not worry:)i just hope things get better for you just as swamykool said ....tc dear:)

[Narayan]

Sandhyaji:

"I am not looking for 'perfect' guy but yes, i m looking for one with whom i feel at least , comfortable with. Is that possible for me to find such a guy? "

Yes, it is the perfect answer one can have. To say that, one needs some kind of maturity to live happily with what one gets and also a contended life.

The exact issue is Gulika and Venus. Gulika is formless and Venus is its body. Because of that, you have got the nodes of Rahu and kethu.

This Gulika and Venus can be seen even in D-60 with venus retro also there, fingering point to past births. Anyways, there is no point now going over there.

But, problem is really because of that marriage has not just materialized.

Now, due to that, for you, Saturn became 12th lord and u are under the cusp of Kethu. This shows excellent placement for spirituality.

If a successful marriage has to happen, I guess Rahu's favor should be there and the balancing act of Kethu also must be there. But, in most cases, I have seen less where both favors one.

"Sometimes, I even feel, that nobody in my family is genuinely interested in finding a good guy for me."

Might be 2nd lord is at fall is the reason for this plus sun the karaka of father is 6th lord, so the reason for your fighting. The whole placement of planets in the chart is just because of Gulika and Venus....some spirit is not released yet.

In your previous birth as D-60 shows, the sun was in Virgo sign along with Mars in your second house with strong Mercury. So, the reason for you to feel now in the current birth "that you feel alone and you are not getting support" from family.

Anyways, may god bless you as you wish.

Regards

Narayanan

[uniquev]

Dear Narayan ji
I have the same feeling that sandhya has mentioned above, day by day its really frustrating,

[sandhya1]

@Swamy ji.. Thanks . Your 'Don't Worry' is always very reassuring! So, will hav to wait till year end for ketu to move out of taurus. right?
@Narayan ji: Thanks for doing a deep analysis of my horoscope frm marriage point of view. So, it's related to sum bad karma in the past birth? And the whole chart placement is due to that now?
Anyways, so, what's the conclusion? What will i get in this birth? Would like to hear ur final statement. Thanks!

@Unique, Godisgreat. I know 80% of the people in India go thru this dilemma, just that some have a better control on their minds..while poor people like me, take a lot of time to accept things.

[godisgreat]

@Unique, Godisgreat. I know 80% of the people in India go thru this dilemma, just that some have a better control on their minds..while poor people like me, take a lot of time to accept things.

Not only you, its people like me as well.dont know which planets/houses/nakshatras combination make me feel that way. Its must be Saturn for sure

[Narayan]

Sandhyaji:

"Thanks for doing a deep analysis of my horoscope frm marriage point of view."

Sandhyaji, it is not only from marriage point of view, but the whole chart is because of Karma, Gulika and Venus. I always try to find the root cause of all problems and planetary placement. If I know, I will tell. If I do not know, I will leave it as it is as I am not a learned astrological person neither I am an astrologer.

Many astrologers do not try to find out the exact diagnosis of the same, though I try to find out exactly that. Many times, it is not exactly the Rahu or Kethu ....there might be some other thing in some cases whereby even Rahu and Kethu is influenced.

So, unless and until point if we do not find the exact diagnosis, how can we treat the same?

"So, it's related to sum bad karma in the past birth? And the whole chart placement is due to that now?"

Yes of course.

Anyways, so, what's the conclusion? What will i get in this birth? Would like to hear ur final statement.

How can I say what u will get Sandhyaji? I am a layman . Once u give back karma, then u will come out of it, especially towards family. I know having merely said that, it is not at all easy, but we have to dig it out...no other way. Because, I have been also in the same group. I used to keep fighting some years back, but now, I understand it is only his works that really works and I am happy now.

It is actually he has to make a final statement in your case as well....

Anyways, all the best wishes and i will keep praying for your wellness and happiness.

Regards

Narayanan

[2002diksha]

narayanji,
sorry if i am sounding too naive. but i have my doubts. you wrote that if mariage has to be successful then there should be support from rahu and ,ketu too should also be beneficial. what exactly do you mean by that. what are the position of rahu and ketu fro successful marriage and does it require rahu and ketu to be exalted.kindly clarify.

[sandhya1]

@Narayan ji
Didn't get u.. what is meant by 'giving back' karma? And sir, how long is the suffering for me?

@Diksha.. Even I dint get this part. What's the role of Rahu and Ketu in my horoscope as far as marriage is concerned?

@Godisgreat... I think Rahu in my case

[Narayan]

Dear Dikshaji and Sandhyaji:

"you wrote that if marriage has to be successful then there should be support from rahu and ketu too should also be beneficial"

When I say Rahu's support means material comforts like money, clothing, world and comforts etc. As long as there is body, one need clothing, shelter, water and food when one is hungry, isnt it? For that all, money is required, so you need Rahu there, but at the same time, by these, u cannot buy happiness. You need peace of mind, calmness followed by general happiness in marital life and in your family for which you need support of Ketu. The balancing act is done by Kethu. So, both of these should support one completely. This is what I meant by Rahu and Ketu too should be beneficial.

Sandhyaji:

"Didn't get u.. what is meant by 'giving back' karma? And sir, how long is the suffering for me?"

You enjoyed your family's happiness in your previous birth either through father or mother, especially you have enjoyed that by denying them happiness. So, what is happening now is vice versa that you are complaining you are not getting support from your family. This is what is called as Karma. Action and reaction. What you sowed, you are reaping now. So, you need to give all happiness to your family even at the cost of your suffering. By doing so, there is high chance that you will get eternal happiness and peace.

Unless you give it back to them, you getting that eternal peace and happiness is less.

How you are going to get that eternal peace I will tell you now. As far as what I understand now, a spirit is with you in connection with your previous birth in the form of your husband. See, Bhadakesh Mercury is in 6th house along with Gulika Lord Venus retro and you are in the fourth house from Mercury and Mercury is in your 10th house. That Venus is 8th Lord as well. So, you have to give it Moksha by sacrificing your happiness to your family, especially to your father and mother.

If you do so, chances are that, your 7th lord will release you from this entanglement through Jupiter thereby you will get eternal happiness and peace.

Now, you decide whether you want Rahu or Ketu? Only one is possible. If you opt for Rahu, in the next birth, you will end up suffering more and also, in present birth, it can only give you worldly comforts and temporary happiness and enjoyment related to senses and mind.

If you opt for Kethu, giving back all your happiness to all people around you, chances are that as said above, you will get eternal happiness. It is not easy doing like that, but then, slowly and slowly u can learn to do so. Initially it will be troublesome for you, but slowly u will find happiness in that.

Ball is in your court, you decide how you want your life to be?

"And sir, how long is the suffering for me?"

That maybe till time your karma is over which only almighty knows. Please avoid calling me sir.

Regards,

Narayanan

[sandhya1]

Thanks Narayan ji
I'll take care of what you said.
However, I am already very nice to my parents in my opinion. Even then i don't know why i m suffering. I am dutiful daughter. I take care of my parents well. It is for them that I didn't move to any other place for better career prospects. But now it seems , that was not enough.
I don't even feel like getting married now. But it is for them, that i have to do it. And i feel sad that i m not being able to provide the happiness that they want from me. I am just helpless.

[Narayan]

Sandhyaji:

"Even then i don't know why i m suffering."

All beings in a body undergo suffering, one of its kind according to their own seeds sown with actions done in one or multiples of body. We do not need to search for what it is, but do our part sincerely and honestly and keep moving.

"It is for them that I didn't move to any other place for better career prospects. But now it seems , that was not enough."

If you are able to find a better career as per their wish and for their happiness and if you are able to find a suitable one, you may move. There is nothing harm in that. But, you need not feel sad for something you cannot do if that is not within your reach. If it is within your reach and if it supports your well being overall, you can definitely do so.

May Almighty give you all happiness.

Regards

Narayanan

[sandhya1]

Thanks Narayan ji for ur advice!

[Narayan]

Sandhyaji:

I know a lady in Tamilnadu who wrote to me through this forum. She is a self-realized soul. She has same kind of planetary combinations. Her parents got married to a man, not much of her liking.

In the initial days of marriage, she was happy. As the days passed by, this man started coming late from office after being drunk on many days. In the home, as well, he at times drink and fights with wife even after she being a self-realized soul and sometimes beats her with belt. He was many times wayward with relations with other womens as well which she came to know at some time.

Even though she is not interested in having sex sometimes, her husband sometimes forcefully have sex with her.

She wrote to me many times crying that this is not the kind of person I expected to marry as she is being spiritual. I tried to pacify her by telling what I know as I feel very sorry for her state. She had also some karmic issues.

So Rahu's Lord and Ketu's lord should match each other and each should support.

Men, material and money cannot buy harmony, peace, happiness and cooperation against each other.

Sandhyaji, I am not good enough to give advice to you. You yourself is good enough, but I was just telling you a few things what I know.

Regards

Narayanan

[godisgreat]

@Sandhya......Rahu??And how is tht explained in ur chart.sorry just trying to analyze ur chartm a baby in astrology now ..Damn m sure my Saturn is giving me troubles

[ChandraLagna]

Hello Sandhya1:

For a lady, there are typically two grahas to be seen as significators of marriage partners, viz Jupiter to a great degree and Mars to some extent.

Moon, the indicator of mind is in 2/12 relationship with Mars and 6/8 with Jupiter. Both indicate a certain degree of trepidation with respect to marriage partners. Next, Ketu is in transit at present over your third house - this house indicates courage, which hence is weakened temporarily.

Hope this helps in answering at least one part of your question(s).

[sandhya1]

Dear Chandralagna
Thanks for ur insightful post. Yes, even i believe that for past many months, i m losing courage/confidence in myself. I need a lot of reassurance to come back to believing myself. I even face problems in piecing together courage to put my points across my parents and my sister logically.
Can you please tell me more about my chart wrt marriage?
Thanks!

[sandhya1]

@God is great
I think Rahu is the troublemaker in my case, as it is closely conjunct with Moon in my horoscope, giving me lots of unknown fears, i guess.

[ChandraLagna]

Well, Mahatma Gandhi had moon+rahu combination too.

Rahu can certainly cause confusion and indecisiveness, but can also provide opportunity for tremendous growth.

[godisgreat]

@God is great
I think Rahu is the troublemaker in my case, as it is closely conjunct with Moon in my horoscope, giving me lots of unknown fears, i guess.

Woah same pinch but my Saturn is closely in conjust with Moon in my horoscope which badly delays everything and gives me unkown fears in my life i guesss

[neelkumar]

Hi Sandhya..

I ain't any astrologer so not here for any predictions.
All I wanted to say is that I too have a phobia of getting married.
Maybe I seek perfection in my future wife. I tend to micro-focus on lot of physical and emotional qualities.
Sometimes it's a dilemma whether to remain single all my life or to get married!
With divorces and separations among near ones, it makes the idea even more scarier.
Take it easy and don't commit until all the signals are green to take the leap - that's all I can say.

Cheers,
Neel