Rahu MD Rahu AD - Suicidal thoughts

[parthanprabha]

D.O.B: 21.04.85 5.08pm chennai. 32 years old divorcee female living with parents in Chennai and unemployed for past one year due to bad anemic and other bad health issues(varicose veins developing in left calf and ankles hence pain in legs always, bleeding gums in spite of good treatment and twice brushing, severe hair fall and depression with hypersexuality sometimes).

Could someone let me know why this sudden change since the time rahu dasa begun and I am unable to recover at all. My mars dasa was the worst but I had physical and mental strength to face all roller coaster type events like sudden loss/pain and dynamic events. Now i feel i am drained out completely and just wanna end this life.

I know that Rahu Sun and Moon in 8th house Aries for Virgo lagna is bad. Mars in 9th house Taurus did enough damage already. Venus exalted and retrograde in 7th house Pisces would not fetch big good things? Mercury debilitated is in the same house. Jupiter too debilitated in 5th house Capricorn is another drawback i believe. Ketu and Saturn combination in Libra 2nd house as per vakya panjang the old system but new online system shows ketu in 2nd house Libra and Saturn in 3rd house which is confusing to me.

This is a very very rough details i gathered out of obsession to know what exactly is wrong in my horoscope. I just want to know if anything at all good in my horoscope and what will be the thing for which I should hold on and continue to live.

I have no social life and in very bad terms with parents and relatives. I am visiting temples sometimes and i am dry fasting every ekadashi to avoid negative thoughts. But the health issue is making me demotivated to follow spiritual guidance too for a transformation. I am dead inside out and all i do is be in room doing nothing day in and day out. I am feeling lost and stuck like this, don't know what next in life. Is this just a phase or should I move out and live alone to see how my health and life changes by any chance but don't know if i could do this too. Please guide me.