Problems with assertiveness

[nvaidya112]

Hello, I need some advice on something that has bothered me my entire life. I have always had a lot of problems in expressing my anger in a healthy manner. For some reason, there is always some sort of obstacle that prevents me from expressing anything I feel. If someone yells at me or says something mean to me, I internalize it. I cannot seem to say anything back in return. Even at home, the same problem happens. I have a very good family life with great parents, but for some reason I have never been able to express my anger freely with them either. And if I do start to express my anger in front of anyone, I start crying and I am seen as a weak person, which is extremely humiliating.

Holding all this anger inside has started taking a toll on my mental health. I feel depressed and irritated very easily, I cannot defend myself if someone hurts me and that upsets me even more, and I keep thinking of myself as a weak person. Is there something in my chart that is causing this? Why am I not assertive or confident enough? How can I fix this and make myself a stronger person? Please please help me! I have been struggling with this for many years and I need some guidance. Thank you!

Birth Date - February 11, 1995
Birth Time - 7:38 pm
Birth Place - Mumbai, Maharashtra

[joyd]

The SAV points of lagna-moon-sun decides natives self confidence and expressive levels.In your case you show such confidence physically and not mentally.On calculation your physical confidence level is 89 out of 100 and mental confidence level is just 79 out of 100. Normally the second value must be higher than the first one for good expression/communication.

joyd.

[ChandraLagna]

Hi Nvaidya112,

Let me address your query systematically and explain the reasons for your situation and more importantly, what you can do to remedy it. If you have no clue about astrology, just ignore the technical aspects and go straight away to the remedial actions you can take to improve your mental makeup.

Firstly, the seat of all emotions is the 4th house from ascendant, and this house happens to be scorpio for you which is tenanted by the preceptor Guru which gives you ability to reason out ( or rationalize) your situation. The emotional part of the response is driven by mars which has gone into its Neech sthana in watery Karka/Cancer and is close to Gandaanth thus impacting the anger/fight response. Secondly, the other fiery sign of mars is Aries which is tenanted by restrictive Ketu, thus further reducing the scope of fight response. Now this needs to be confirmed by 4th house from moon, and mercury being the 4th lord placed in capricorn with sun and is retro, making your feelings of being slighted stay in your heart for a long time, yet expressed in a limited fashion. Moon in Ardra Nakshatra makes you quite sensitive to the point of being depressive, yet timid in handling conflicts. Aspect of Rahu from Libra makes you somehow see the other person's point of view and rationalize away your situation. I have also considered your Drekkana ( D3) and Navamsa (D9) placements of respective planets for the analysis though not described above.

Now it is clear that any remedial action needs to involve mars. Rather than suggesting a passive mantra alone, I suggest a vigorous physical workout on a daily basis which improves your self confidence, improves your mental & physical well being and able to handle conflicts in a mature and confident manner.

On a side note, you would consider at some point in your life to move to foreign shores and we can look at that question when it arises.

[vedam33]

I think time of birth was rectified what was time as per hospital record

[nvaidya112]

Thank you soo much for your help! This puts so much into perspective! I really appreciate it! I have heard that channeling my energy into a physical workout may help. I’ll definitely do that. Yes I was born in India, but I moved to the US when I was 6 years old and have been living here ever since for the past 18 years.

Oh I’m sorry I don’t know about that, this was the birth time on my hospital record as far as I’m aware.