Starting to get into depression

[pulkitsaxena1995]

Hi Everyone,

My birth details (Male): 16/09,1995, 14:08 PM, Kanpur U.P.

I'm feeling to fall into depression. I feel as if I don't want to do anything in life and have also gotten into low self esteem. To give you an overview, I completed my engineering in 2018 from one of the top colleges in India, after which I worked in a job for an year and have again joined a good MBA college in 2019. Last year, I got the best internship offer from college but due to covid, the offer was cancelled. This caused a lot of stress to me. I have also started to lose my hair since past one year which I believe has added to depression since I feel I won't get a good relationship due to this in future.

I am into spirituality and have been reading a lot since past few years on advaita vedanta, buddhism and many other texts such as Upanishads, Yoga Vasistha teachings by Nisargadatta, Ramana Maharishi etc. I believe that I know everything intellectually about the ultimate reality of existence in terms of what can be known by a human mind. But reading all this also contributed to my depression as this all leads to detachment of ego which is very painful although I still have a long way to go as I haven't experienced anything but just understood from my mind which is nothing compared to experiential knowledge. I have started to meditate a bit now in hope of controlling this depressive tendency while also uplift myself spiritually.

I feel as if my life is forcing me to go to himalaya or someplace like that or live in seclusion although I want to enjoy both materialistic life and also maintain my spiritual life. Is there any hope for me in the future ?

[Sishya]

Hi,

You were going through Ashtama Shani (Saturn/Shani-dev transiting in the 8th house from natal Moon/Chandra) and then the current transit of Ketu over Udaya Lagna, posited in the Lunar Constellation of Moola/Mula Nakshatra is playing out in your life.

On the sidelines, effect of Dasha/Bhukti as validated from both Vimsottari (Dasha Chidra - transition from Rahu Maha-Dasha conjunct Mars/Kuja and with Nakshatra Parivartha over to Lagna Lord Jupiter/Guru Maha-Dasha, placed in the 12th house of Vyaya/Losses and having Nakshatra Parivarthana Yoga with Saturn/Shani-dev) and other conditional Dasha system is also evident.

Also of importance (beyond the current query) is the number of powerfully placed (Swasthana and Uccha-Sthana) Grahas/Planets, their placement and effect - I'm reminded of the Dream Team with lot of individual flair, but did not gel well to perform collectively as a team. Last but not the least, is the need to check applicability of Kendradipathya Dosha.

Sincerely...

[pulkitsaxena1995]

Thanks for your analysis. Could you say anything about how Jupiter mahadasha would be which has just started for me ?