Mother: Severe Brain Stroke

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Re: Mother: Severe Brain Stroke

Post by godslayer » 02 Sep 2021

Dear lefteyeji,

So sorry i missed your message. Actually it isnt a blockage its a haemorrhagic stroke, there is a bleed in the cerebellum which has extended to brain stem. She has gotten only mildly better with physiotherapy in past 6 months. She is still mostly bedridden and dependent on someone for constant needs.

Will this ever get like marginally better? What are the chances of it getting marginally WORSE too?


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Re: Mother: Severe Brain Stroke

Post by godslayer » 11 Sep 2021

Dear All,

Mother is slightly better now. Given the circumstances, i am unable to do everything alone, which includes handling the business and household. Hence i decided to propose marriage to the girl i had been in relationship since 1 year. However they belong to typical baniya family and there have been ego clashes between us especially given our family background.
The girl is very loving but heavily influenced by her family, we had fixed the roka on 14th of this month but they were very reckless and lavish with their expenditures. They pressurized me to match their level by giving expensive jewellery to them on the roka and not any set that we already had. Infact they insisted on exchanging the sets which are our heirlooms. When i resisted her father called it off, the girl blocked me from everywhere and her father called me to request not contacting her again.
The girl, initially wasnt like that but is heavily influenced and was pressuring me to match up to their expectations. Our family friends have also asked us to let it go and forget it. I tried having a word with her parents but its all in vain. I really dont know what is the way forward.

My DOB -27/3/1992
TIME - 18:30 HRS
PLACE - DELHI

GIRLS DOB - 1/3/1998
TIME - 14:51 hrs
Place - Delhi

Is anything left salvagable in this relationship?
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Re: Mother: Severe Brain Stroke

Post by Sishya » 12 Sep 2021

Hi,

Request you to kindly bear with me and ignore anything that is not to your taste or liking...

In my humble opinion, the girl (and her family) is trying her/their best to create a situation to get themselves out of the relationship - including putting up unreasonable conditions. You can try agreeing to their conditions - but rest assured they will come up with more unreasonable conditions. And, from their perspective I guess one cannot blame them completely (for being concerned for themselves) either.

In any case, unless I'm terribly mistaken, the girl's birth-chart seems to indicate a delay in marriage and she is not somebody mentally prepared to support you during your difficult times. Hence, I don't this relationship going through.

That said, I also foresee challenges with regards to fulfillment of your marriage desire. In case you push the envelope, sustaining marriage is a concern too.

PS: By the way, your birth-chart does not reflect any love on your part, in the said relationship. Girl's birth-chart shows tendency to fall in love...but shying away from the burden of responsibilities.

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Re: Mother: Severe Brain Stroke

Post by Sishya » 12 Sep 2021

Meant to type... Hence, I don't see this relationship going through.

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Re: Mother: Severe Brain Stroke

Post by godslayer » 12 Sep 2021

Dear Shishyaji,

Thank you very much for your response.

The girl was acquainted with my mother before she fell sick. All the time i was handling things she helped out as much as she can and mom and i grew a liking towards her. She constantly promised to help and be a support at every stage, however. For sure they bailed out at the last moment, leaving me crippled. Its extremely sad the way it fell out and now its effecting my health. I, for one, have nobody else in my family anymore.

I would believe, if god wills it. Then be it.
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Re: Mother: Severe Brain Stroke

Post by Sishya » 12 Sep 2021

Hi,

I can only imagine how you might be feeling...

A close look at the girl's birth-chart shows a very close or tight conjunction of Lagna Lord Moon/Chandra with 7th & 8th lord Saturn/Shani-dev. The said conjunction continues to show up in multiple Varga charts... indicating her fickle minded nature (please don't think I'm trying to criticize her nature - instead I'm merely trying to highlight the Graha/Planetary effects and their influence).

In my humble opinion, she might have continued to help you (and your mother) out, if you had not pushed her for a commitment - marriage might seem like a huge and unbearable burden for such people. In case you've not watched, please try checking Runaway Bride, the 1999 Romantic Comedy starring Julia Roberts and Richard Gere.

Unless the situation is sorted out, she might end up losing precious opportunities and her birth-chart might very well tend towards denial. In any case, it might not be a bad idea for you to consider calming her frayed nerves and try reverting back to how things were earlier.

PS: As you can imagine, I'm trying to connect the dots and help you do the same. As always, please feel free to ignore anything that is not to your liking or taste.

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Re: Mother: Severe Brain Stroke

Post by godslayer » 12 Sep 2021

Dear Shishyaji,

Thank you once again for your everso polite reply.

The push for marriage was not from my end, but her end only. But from the very beginning, her family had been trying to belittle me. Criticizing my situations. Honestly, i dont blame them. It can call upon much criticism from anyone.
Indeed she is very easily influenced by her parents. Till the roka, nothing was expected off me. But as soon as the roka was decided, her parents started taking her to expensive outlets in five star to shop. Started telling her how it cannot be done cheap as its a matter of family pride. Slowly her tone changed with me too. She constantly worried if the guy of her choice would ever be able to match them. I was not cutting corners in expenses but i am slightly practical in expenditures(i had a very decent budget of marriage disclosed to them...20L) .

Understandably, financially the position of her family is not even remotely as good as ours, there is just difference of opinion. They want to spend over materialistic things, which i dont(diamonds) with money they have saved over their whole life?!?!

I sometimes do not understand the complexities of unions. Apart from handling everything, did my best to handle this event as well. Unfortunately... As you said... Cant blame them...

One thing for sure, all this while...handholding, dreaming and promising that the things will be all fine after marriage from the girls end... Turning to direct roka cancellation by her father towards the end because of argument over want of diamond jewellery... More than anything thats pretty shocking ...
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Re: Mother: Severe Brain Stroke

Post by Sishya » 12 Sep 2021

Hi,

Unless I'm terribly mistaken, she is unlike her parents (father and mother)... so, please don't judge them to be the same. She has been influenced alright.

On the sidelines, she will be starting her next round of Sade-Sathi with Saturn/Shani-dev's transit to Kumbha Rashi starting later part of next year. And then, there is a Parivarthana Yoga between Jupiter/Guru (who is too close for comfort, to an unhappy Sun/Ravi) and Saturn/Shani-dev.

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Re: Mother: Severe Brain Stroke

Post by godslayer » 13 Sep 2021

Shishyaji,

This is absolutely spot on. On more than one occassions i have told her that she is different from her family. Infact very different. They are very crude with their dealings, we on the other hand are very polished and practical.
You are correct about her beginning sade satti in April end of the next year - 2022 . Given that there is also saturn moon mars conjunction in the 9th house. With the passage of sade satthi. I can only imagine how difficult things can become. But to each their own.

There is another one point to note, that 8th house is very heavily loaded with me,ke,su,ju. Mercury and jupiter both combust.In the sign of saturn.. this is the first thing that i saw apart from very well placed venus and moon/mars but again conjunct with saturn.
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Re: Mother: Severe Brain Stroke

Post by Sishya » 14 Sep 2021

Hi,

One of the other things I'd like to draw your attention to is with regards to her nasty temper - she is capable of burning/breaking anything she herself might have meticulously and lovingly build over a period of time. Whenever the temper get's triggered, she could end up being a different person altogether - have wondering if such people can be classified or group with those with "Multiple Personality".

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Re: Mother: Severe Brain Stroke

Post by godslayer » 15 Sep 2021

Dear shishyaji,

Inspite of many astrologers pointing this out to her previously and her also saying the same things again and again. I have in the past year, never seen her getting 'tempramental'. She seemed a very accomodating and well balanced person.

Anyhow this can be the first such instance :-D.
I have tried talking to her, but the channels still remain closed and she is adamant. Have tried thru other friends. Still wouldnt work.
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Re: Mother: Severe Brain Stroke

Post by godslayer » 02 Oct 2021

An update on the scenario,

I have tried communicating with the girl through multiple channels, everywhere i am being blocked out. I really dont quite understand where this went wrong. Maybe the budget? Maybe the argument? Maybe the demands?

All in all. There is no hope of things going thru. No hope at all. Now the burden of everything solely lies on me. This is indeed one of the most terrible times i have gone thru and will ever will. Only person left standing in my life is me now. Sad and demotivated.

Requesting fellow astrologer friends to shed light on when/how can/will things become better? Has the god pulled back his hand away from me and left me wandering in the wild?
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Re: Mother: Severe Brain Stroke

Post by Sishya » 02 Oct 2021

Hi,

As called out earlier, I'm inclined to think you guys are/were perhaps not meant to be... spouse for each other.

Anyways, if we were to take a closer look at your own birth-chart, the following observations stand out:
1. Udaya Lagna is placed in Kanya Rashi and posited in the Lunar Constellation of Hasta Nakshatra, ruled by Moon/Chandra... who is caught between two hardcore malefics Saturn/Shani-dev and Rahu. For the records, Saturn/Shani-dev is posited in the Lunar Constellation of Shravana Nakshatra, ruled by Moon/Chandra... and aspects the 7th house of Kalathra-Sthana and 2nd house of family expansion.
2. Lagna Lord Mercury/Budha is Retrograde or Vakra. He is placed in his Neecha-Sthana or sign of debilitation in Meena Rashi and closely conjunct Sun/Ravi, the 12th lord of Vyaya/Losses. Both are posited in the Lunar Constellation of Uttara Bhadrapada Nakshatra, ruled by Saturn/Shani-dev... the 6th lord of Rogasthana. More importantly Mercury/Budha is not very happy being placed in the 7th house of relationship and will be detrimental for related significance.
3. Your 7th lord of Kalathra-Sthana or Kalathrakaraka is placed in the 12th house of Vyaya/Losses/Foreign Land. He is Retrograde/Vakra and posited in the Lunar Constellation of Magha Nakshatra, ruled by Ketu. Jupiter/Guru and Sun/Ravi participate in a Parivarthana Yoga. Naisargika Kalathrakaraka or Natural significator of relationships Venus/Shukra is not happy being placed in the 6th house of Service. He will be detrimental for related significance.
4. You are currently in the final phase of Sade-Sathi, as also Saturn/Shani-dev's return.
5. You are in the midst of Rahu Maha-Dasha and Antara of Saturn/Shani-dev. So, you've not really being intelligent or used tact in your handling of situations. You will soon start Antara of Mercury/Budha.

Given the situation, it would perhaps make sense for you to seek help/guidance from experienced and knowledgeable experts for suitable Vedic/Dharmic remedies.

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Re: Mother: Severe Brain Stroke

Post by godslayer » 03 Oct 2021

Dear Shishyaji,

Thank you for your beauitful response and giving out time to re read the birth chart with so much of detail.

Understandably, there are a lot of things wrong in my kundali. With moon, saturn and venus placed wrongly. However, what i wanted to ask, will there be any respite whatsoever? Is there anything looking up in the kundali which might help me in the future to go ahead smoothly if not very fortunately?
Am i supposed to go on in life like this, bad news to bad news since childhood?
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Re: Mother: Severe Brain Stroke

Post by Sishya » 03 Oct 2021

Hi,

As you can imagine, my intention is restricted/limited to sharing my observation and help you get connected with inherent issues/challenges, as also caution you (to make sure you don't drop your guard)... purely going by my understanding of the information you've shared. The intent is not to unnecessarily paint a bleak or pessimistic picture and drain any hopes you might have... that keeps you going.

I would actually encourage you to seek help/guidance from experienced and knowledgeable experts (either in this forum or elsewhere) for suitable Vedic/Dharmic remedies on the one side and exercise your free-will (actually by pushing the envelope, over and beyond - without giving up on effort or hiding behind destiny) overcome the stated understanding/challenges.

Often times, I feel most folk get dejected and just give-up when unfavorable/adverse observations are shared/called out from their birth-chart or Horoscope, instead of putting extra effort... which is essentially what is required/needed, during tough/trying times. And hence, my effort here, to provide due clarity.

That said, I'd also like to use this opportunity to remind you and other readers... that Dashas have Antaras, which in-turn have Pratyantaras and so on. So, there are bound to be some good or better times inter-spread (that helps in one or other aspect of our lives), in between tough/trying times (else, there is no concept of hope and most - if not all would give up completely). Thereafter, one also needs to factor-in the effort of Gochara/Planetary Transits. So, any critical observation shared (here or elsewhere) should not be viewed as End-of-World or a Doomsday Prophecy. Please be reminded folks myself, are invariably limited in knowledge/experience/time to dwell deeper than what we usually do.

In summary, I'd encourage you to renew the much needed Trust in God, Blessings of Parents, Faith in Friends/Well-Wishers, Hope in life, Self Belief/Confidence in your own Abilities and Motivation to bounce back and excel...

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Re: Mother: Severe Brain Stroke

Post by Sishya » 03 Oct 2021

Hi,

I get reminded of a phrase that I've often come across, wherein it was very nicely stated as, "God or The Good Lord has an Override Button and uses very diligently - as and when needed, to help us mere mortals to overcome challenges that sometimes seems overbearing".

On the sidelines, I'm also inclined to think folk going through troubled times without taking short-cuts and not compromising on Dharmic Principles... are also shedding the heavy Karmic burden they might be carrying.

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Re: Mother: Severe Brain Stroke

Post by godslayer » 04 Oct 2021

With a heavy heart and shock, i just got to know that our beloved Lova Member @vedam33 passed away on 6th september due to a massive heart attack.

May his helpful and gentle soul rest in peace.

Om shanti..
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Re: Mother: Severe Brain Stroke

Post by godslayer » 04 Oct 2021

Thank you shishyaji for your posts. I am re reading them to let them sink in...
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Re: Mother: Severe Brain Stroke

Post by godslayer » 07 Nov 2021

Dear Shishyaji,

All the channels to communicate have failed.
I have been blocked from every possible channels, every possible numbers. I think i have already stooped too low by trying to initiate contact, reminding of good times, promises and such, only to meet with rebukes and being blocked.
Within 15 days of ending, she has conveyed to us that we dont see anything going forward and we have moved on. Even to the elders of who tried getting in touch with her.
As life may have it. Some things are better let gone of. Life becomes really difficult once you are used to someone, and that someone stands with you for a while and then deserts you.
I reiterate that all the emotions were higher on her side and she was the one to convince me repeatedly from the very beginning to marry, things will be fine and such.
Whatever may it be, her or her family, i really dont think it was much beyond love cum arranged with all the big fat bells and whistles included. Had it been love, everyone wouldve been contended with whatever i was ready to spend. I for one, strictly laid out that nothing will be taken from my end and i have 0 demands being the groom.
As life may have it, the people who stoop down too low are treated as dirt only.
Just hoping i find someone else now, because i dont have anyone in my family to take forward our legacy.
What do you think, Would love happen again?
Or will something come up the arranged way?
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Re: Mother: Severe Brain Stroke

Post by Sishya » 21 Nov 2021

Hi,

As stated earlier, current is not the best of times for you... you're not really being intelligent or using tact in your handling of situations. When pushing the envelope, it is prudent to quickly realize when you are pushing it in the wrong direction. But then, you are in the midst of Rahu Maha-Dasha and in the Antara of Saturn/Shani-dev... with Moon/Chandra caught in the middle and experiencing Sade-Sathi. So, it is quite clear you are not in control of the situation.

I'd suggest that you don't lose heart and bide your time for things to change for good and better.

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Re: Mother: Severe Brain Stroke

Post by godslayer » 27 Nov 2021

Thank you shishyaji for still following up with the thread.

I think i dont have an option than to quietly wait.
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Re: Mother: Severe Brain Stroke

Post by godslayer » 15 Jan 2022

Dear @shishyaji,

Very recently in october i started talking to another girl. She seemed to be fine. Herself initiated contact and tried coming close to me. I had been very hesitant from the beginning and i expressed my insecurities, responsibilites and problems. She earned my confidence over a period of time, constantly telling me it will be fine(it always happens, a girl comes and tries to win my confidence).
So in beginning of january, things became a little serious between us and in a week she backed out saying her family wants a close family for themselves and they deserve it.
Honestly, i tried, for once, being a very decent gentleman, loving, caring and supportive.
But it just didn't work out, claiming issues out of my control.
Her birth details-
09-03-1997
9:50 AM Delhi.
Now what i really dont understand at all is, as of now, i am handling everything on my own. The whole house, business and taking care of my mother.
I want to know, when my time comes, which it will, because us humans do get sick, will i even have anyone to even mentally support me?
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Re: Mother: Severe Brain Stroke

Post by Sishya » 26 Jan 2022

Hi,
godslayer wrote:
15 Jan 2022
I want to know, when my time comes, which it will, because us humans do get sick, will i even have anyone to even mentally support me?
Looking up your post now... sorry to hear of your experience. All I'd suggest is that you not get dejected and think very far in that frame of mind. Please remember your mind is still under the influence of Saturn/Shani-dev (his transit across the natal placement of Moon/Chandra in your birth-chart, causing Sade-Sathi), along with Rahu Maha-Dasha and Antara of Saturn/Shani-dev is perhaps grinding down hard.

Please be informed that you will be soon be starting Antara of Lagna Lord Mercury/Budha aspecting Udaya Lagna (although placed in his Neecha-Sthana or sign of debilitation, in Meena Rashi), should bring some relief... until end of Sade-Sathi.

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Re: Mother: Severe Brain Stroke

Post by godslayer » 30 Jan 2022

I generally dont crib...When i thought i have seen enough in life... And am prepared for almost all calamity in life... God shows a ray of hope and then takes it away in the most painful way...

Since childhood, my life has been anything but easy. Grinding hard is understatement.... Things are spiralling down very quickly and effecting me severely... Really dont know when my time comes, who will be there for me or for whom i am doing all this for?
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